zumbamemes:

What we look feel when we Zumba, what we really look like

This will apply to me especially since I’ve fallen off the wagon and haven’t exercised since November. HELP!

zumbamemes:

What we look feel when we Zumba, what we really look like

This will apply to me especially since I’ve fallen off the wagon and haven’t exercised since November. HELP!

(via zumbamemes-deactivated20140417)

AMAZING DEAL!!!! $2.40 a class at Buddha B

AMAZING DEAL!!!! $2.40 a class at Buddha B

Trying to do ab exercises at the gym

whatshouldwecallme:

Other people: 

Me: 

Groupon for Stroga in Adams Morgan! $39 for 10 classes BAM!!!
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Groupon for Stroga in Adams Morgan! $39 for 10 classes BAM!!!

I never learn

Gym: Sport & Health Ballston

Address: 4238 Wilson Blvd # 3018
Arlington, VA 22203

Class: Pilates XPress

The Instructor Makes a Normal Gal Feel: Like a close talker

The Classmates Make a Normal Gal Feel: Slightly awkward

On a scale of 1 (waste of time) to 5 (bring the stretcher), for a normal gal this workout is a: 4. I felt the burn.

Here’s the deal: Free Seven-Day Pass

I don’t know why I seem to forget past experiences when contemplating them would prove useful, but I’ve done it again. I seem to forget that every time I try to cut corners, I pay for it in the end. In college I hated organic chemistry (duh), so I tried to get orgo 2 over with via a four-week summer course so that I didn’t have to face it for a full semester. This resulted in me facing it for a full semester plus a summer. A big fat D in orgo on steroids meant I was taking it twice.

It would have been smart to reflect on that experience before I attended Pilates Xpress, a mat class crunched into 30 minutes. Because the class is half as long as usual, I thought it would be half as hard. Instead, the class is just done in double time. I have never had to do so many reps in pilates as in Pilates Xpress. On the bright side, by only 6 PM I already felt like my ass had been handed to me at the gym and I could go eat a meatball sub, which I did.

Pilates Xpress was a good workout, and against my better judgment I’d probably do it again. Next time I’ll probably act less awkward, though. I walked in and the mats were all facing horizontally (AKA the opposite of what is normal), and it threw me off. Without knowing it, I had put my mat DIRECTLY in front of the teacher’s, so that we were basically having a starring contest throughout the whole class. I felt particularly weird about this when I realized that this was one of the classes where the attendees all come every week and know each other. So, it’s a good thing I showed up new and went straight for the center of the room.

I got a lot out of the class, but I found the teacher a little off. I know I really have no authority to critique people’s form in pilates, but every time the teacher went into plank her butt seemed to be way up in their air. I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure planks are flat. So that was weird. But regardless, her verbal instructions were helpful, and for the first time ever I found myself profusely sweating in a pilates class.

There are also many pluses to attending classes at Sport and Health Ballston, which is connected to the Ballston “Mall.” These pluses include Panera, Noodles and Company, a food court, and Cold Stone, where you can get a “Gotta Have It-”sized lard with sprinkles on top once you’re done at the gym. To quote Michael Scott, this is a “win-win-win.”

                       

Amazon Deal! $39 for one month at the Energy Club in Shirlington. I’ve had some good times there and you will too!
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Amazon Deal! $39 for one month at the Energy Club in Shirlington. I’ve had some good times there and you will too!

Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica

Gym: Sport & Health Skyline

Address: 5115 Leesburg Pike
Falls Church, VA 22041

Class: Pilates Mat

The Instructor Makes a Normal Gal Feel: Home (in suburban Michigan)

The Classmates Make a Normal Gal Feel: Young and flexible

On a scale of 1 (waste of time) to 5 (bring the stretcher), for a normal gal this workout is a: 3. It was a decent workout.

Here’s the deal: Free Seven-Day Pass

First and foremost, if you go to Sport & Health Skyline, you are DIRECTLY CONNECTED to a Target. There is a magic, secret stairway that takes you out of the gym’s parking garage and teleports you directly in front of the discount land of your dreams. It’s like being placed directly in front of the gates of heaven, except this heaven takes coupons. That is already enough information to prove that Sport & Health Skyline is the ultimate in fitness facilities, but I’ll continue.

Inside Sport & Health, the suburban bliss continues. The teacher took me right back to Metro Detroit, where fitness teachers are all in their late forties with short, stylish mom do’s. The classmates were also on the older side, with no trendy yoga tops in sight. Au contraire, at one point I looked back and noticed that we were joined by the one and only Dwight Schrute. With coke bottle glasses in full effect, I saw the assistant to the regional manager working on his fitness, legs and arms flailing about with motions significantly more rambunctious than recommended by Joe P. (Be sure to check out the last image- that’s the money shot.) In typical Dwight Schrute fashion, he exited class by recommending that everyone stay up until midnight to make it to the first showing of the Hunger Games. (I know half of you would have done that too, but whatever.)

Like always, I fully enjoyed doing pilates, the one type of exercise that I can say with a straight face I truly love. But if you’ve ever had your ass kicked by pilates, you weren’t at Sport & Health Skyline. This pilates class was definitely among the easiest I’ve been to. It wasn’t that the moves were necessarily easy (at least not most of them), but the number of reps we did was on the very low side. Given that I fell off the consistent pilates wagon a while ago, I definitely still think I got something out of it, but I’m pretty sure Joe P would be less than proud.

The Skyline pilates experience overall was a pleasant one, though. It was a little awkward when booming Euro techno and then Ke$sha from the next room were drowning out the teacher’s new age whisper music, but once that ear explosion was over I felt calm and relaxed. Like the other Sport & Health location I’ve been to, the class wasn’t crowded and the room was spacious. And in conclusion, in case you forgot, this gym is connected to a Target.  

        

Seriously, yo.

Seriously, yo.

(Source: shroomhead887, via tobefit123-deactivated20120506)

Sashay! Shantay!

Gym: Sport and Health Arlington

Address: 1122 Kirkwood Road
Arlington, VA 22201

Class: Club Cardio

The Instructor Makes a Normal Gal Feel: Like dancing to some Debbie Gibson.

The Classmates Make a Normal Gal Feel: Young and in need of a helmet.

On a scale of 1 (waste of time) to 5 (bring the stretcher), for a normal gal this workout is a: 4. I felt the burn.

Here’s the deal: Free Seven-Day Pass 

After all this time doing exercise classes, I finally attended the classic. It was called “Club Cardio,” but at the start the teacher clarified that it was truly “old school aerobics.” For some reason this made me feel awesome. 20-somethings in the late 80s were the coolest. They had big hair and everything neon, and by doing aerobics I felt like I had my own little window into being that rad.

And I’m guessing 20-somethings in the 80s were fitter than we are now, because aerobics is significantly harder than our modern-day Zumbing. It’s a serious workout that can involve serious passion. The Club Cardio teacher at Sport and Health Arlington is deeply passionate about aerobics. She could barely contain her excitement, or her desire for us to become the most accurate grapeviners ever. If it were up to her, we’d go pro.

Her dedication I appreciated, but sometimes I thought she could layoff a little on the commands. She drove home that it was CRITICAL that everyone always be on the exact same foot. Unfortunately, her demands were far from met. Next to me was the most woefully uncoordinated woman ever. She was about 60 years old and was literally moving in the wrong direction every second. I tried but unfortunately failed at hiding my annoyance as I spent 50 percent of my time awkwardly trying to aerobic dance myself away from her to avoid becoming a crash test dummy. I understand that it wasn’t always easy to follow along, particularly since our deeply passionate teacher sometimes ventured off into her own improv aerobics moves that she instructed us NOT to follow (um, you’re teaching a synchronized group exercise class), but this lady was out of control.

What this class managed to do perfectly, however, was bring back the positives of jazz at the Oakland School of Dance circa 1989, without any of the negatives. The pivots were fun and sassy like Wilson Phillips’ and I did more sashays than RuPaul at a dance-off. I am living in the wrong time, because I happen to think that these moves are way cooler than Zumba. Awkward.

Sport and Health Arlington is also just a pretty great place overall. For one, they have motivational posters EVERYWHERE. And believe it or not, their BOLD FONTS and inspirational photographs work. I should get one for my office. The gym is also full of old people and tall, straight guys. My kind of crowd. And finally, and absolutely most important of all, this place is NOT CROWDED. That is gym heaven in this town of 40-person kickboxing classes where every punch is a lawsuit waiting to happen. There were only eight people in Club Cardio, and as long as you avoid Wrong-Direction Debbie, you should have ample space to get your fitness on at Sport and Health.